8th september 2009

When he told me that he had a new gf,my heart broken. I should expect this once the day I said to break and change our relationship into friend.If I do not want him anymore,then I can say break but not change status itself.He seem to angry at me when I said it.If I look back at the post he made in Facebook,he found comfort in someone else after 1week we broke.What does this mean?I thought he is still loyal to me and might wait for me in another 3years even though I asked him to find a better one if he could.This is what I want but deeply in my heart I do not wish to see him with other girl.How contradict a girl is.I should have tell him clearly about this.Regret in my heart.I wish all these were just a dream,but it is impossible.I lost him since I said to break.What I trying to do now as I keep posting my feeling in Facebook?Is it I wish he could back to me?Pityness will bring him back?But if he really back,he is still suffer.He has a gf just like none as I'm in so far and cannot accompany him all the time.Hapiness is when you need him/her,he/she will with you that time.His friend said there must be a reason behind it,but if he is belong to me,he definitely will back to me when I'm ready to accept him back.I hope so he is belong to me.Lesson from this incident,I can tell and persuade myself do not really love someone with full of the heart but must pull back most of it for self use.I still cannot control myself to see his profile,photo,video,letter,sms,etc.All these just small matter during previous time but huge for me now.I need time to forget him.Sometime I ask myself,should I forget him or just make it happen neutrally.I swear this is my first time to be so hurt.I always face the situation that I cannot do anything but just look at it happen.

Is it really I ♥ him or I feel that he is mine but cannot be owned by other girl?Because of ♥,I need to let him go.Nothing else I can do for now.I just need to stand still and wait.Wait for them to break?Maybe.In case both of them marry,I will still wait.While waiting I can still look for my ideal partner.This time I need to set the rule.As my roomie said,wait the love to come but not search for it.I agree with it.I can live better even without him.I still keep the letter,bear and necklace he gave me during last year chrismast.best memory about the process he gave the present to me.He need to go Hong Kong with his family so he asked my friend to pass it to me on that day.I'm touched.It's time for me to focus on study.He not mine anymore.He will be mine when he back to me and it will be an ending that we both hapy ever after(he is mine forever).

bye~~I will going on with my life so do you.We shall decide it again after three years.Maybe you are going to marry after 3years,but I'm still will love you.When I remember about it,I shall recall that there was a charming prince sing song to me when I cannot sleep,tell stupid joke just to see me smile,change topic when I'm upset to shoft my attention, buy food for me when I hungry because I got no transport to go buy, hug me when I need hug, bring me go have a walk when I request, give me advice when I'm lost, scold me when I did wrong, accompany me when my mum pass away, learn to write chinese sms to me, bring me along when meet with his friends, introduce his friends to me, eat delicious food together, find the delicios food..............I shall remember these sweet moments. I will be happy because we had sweet moment together but won't sad of leaving.Baby,I love you.This is what I want you to do so that you won't suffer anymore.The moment I choose to face it alone,I should have expected that no one will accompany me to go along this road.