15th September 2009

The bridge make me miss about him. When I went over the bridge for a dinner just now, the moment he called me during 25th August 2009 01:25pm while I walked on bridge for a lunch come into my mind. Suddenly, I feel so irritate about it. I still cannot accept that incident. I still cannot forgive myself to let him go at that time. If that time he called me, I tell him, then everything will be happy ending. Why am I so stupid choose to face it alone? Should I be a selfish people for self hapiness? If that time I become selfish person, then I will not so sad and hurt right now. I hate myself right now. I cannot do anything to change it, I cannot say anything, I hate this kind of situation which I cannot do anything to change the situation that I'm not comfort with it. When I see back all the pictures I took since I got my camera cell phone, I realized that I delete all the picture that I took with him. After I broke up with him, I still kept it in my laptop and Facebook. Since I realize he had a new gf, I delete all of them when I'm angry and crying. Now, I regret with my temper at that time. Now, I do not have any memory to see back but only can retrieve from Long Term Memory. These picture remind me of our love.

Both if these pictures took during Sea Ya event at Jusco Bukit Mertajam. The sotong remind me about his promise to buy me a turtle when I back from UNIMAS. This book remind me about our shopping in Popular. I very happy at that day because we went shopping for the whole day. I really do not want to forget about him but I have to, I have no choice.

This picture/photo took by him. I still remember I went to cut my hair and do temporary straighthening. This "sexy" clothes I seldom wear since I bought it when shopping with him. Honestly, I wore this is because of him. Guy wish to see his gf wear sexy, because proud to bring out together. So I did it for him. This the only picture that I keep where I took in his car.

Another picture also remind me about him. Every picture that I took in Penang when I with him, though is not the picture is only me.

This is the necklace that he gave me for my 20th birthday before I came to sarawak. On that day, he gave me and wear it for me. This is the necklace we went to mistery shopping. We cannot take it unless we use money to buy it. I miss you. Do you still remember these memories? Do you still keep our picture? Do you miss me when you see any place or picture that share our memories? I still hope all these do not happen and I'm still in dream. But it is impossible. Regret still deep in my heart. No one can understand better than me. I love you. Is that real which you are not the one that GOD give to me? Time will tell everything. GOD love to make joke with me. HE always want me to WAIT. I always cannot wait, and do what I want. If that time I wait few days, then the end is not like this. 《恶作剧之吻》make me remember about our tacit/empathy. We put the default ringtone for each other call is the chorus of this song. It is not coincidence. I do believe it. I understand that I need to forget him but it is not as easy as said. I need time.(-.-)